Where Do You Get Your Pleasure? Rethinking Dopamine and Reward
Nov 02, 2025
The Real Question Isn’t “Can I Give This Up?” — It’s “Where Do I Get My Pleasure?”
One of my clients once told me, “Sonia, I just can’t give up my chai with sugar. Without it, life would feel less pleasurable.”
That moment made me pause — not because of the chai, but because of the truth in what she said.
Our brains are wired for pleasure.
It’s how we’re designed. Every time we do something that feels good — like eating something sweet, scrolling social media, or getting a compliment — our brain releases dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical that reinforces the behavior.
But here’s the key question I asked her —
“Where do you want to get your pleasure?”
The Brain’s Reward System: It’s Not About the Sugar
Dopamine isn’t bad. It’s what drives us to repeat actions that bring satisfaction.
But when we rely only on instant gratification — like sugar, snacks, or screens — our brain becomes dependent on those quick hits.
Over time, those same things bring less pleasure, and we need more to feel satisfied.
That’s why you might crave an extra cookie, a second serving, or that sugary cup of chai — your brain is chasing the next dopamine spike.
The solution isn’t to remove pleasure.
It’s to redirect it.
Redefining Pleasure: From Instant to Lasting
Pleasure doesn’t have to come from food or drink.
True, lasting pleasure can come from moments of pride, peace, and progress — the kind that don’t fade when the cup is empty.
When my client and I explored this, she realized something powerful.
She said, “I actually feel more pleasure imagining myself wearing the jeans in my closet, tucking in a crisp shirt, and adding a nice branded belt — feeling confident again.”
That’s dopamine too — but this time, it’s tied to empowerment, not impulse.
Where Is Your Dopamine Coming From?
Your brain doesn’t care how it gets dopamine — it just wants it.
That means you get to decide where it comes from.
- Pleasure from sugar gives a 5-minute high and a crash.
- Pleasure from self-trust lasts all day.
- Pleasure from the mirror seeing your progress builds confidence.
- Pleasure from energy and movement — being able to walk, dance, climb stairs without knee pain — adds years to your life.
The goal isn’t to stop seeking pleasure — it’s to upgrade your source.
How to Retrain Your Reward Center
- Notice Your Habit Loop.
When you reach for food or chai, pause. Ask: “What am I really craving — flavor, comfort, or calm?”
Awareness interrupts automatic behavior. - Replace, Don’t Remove.
Choose a new reward that still gives you pleasure — maybe stretching with music, taking a short walk, or checking off your water tracker.
Each replacement forms a new dopamine pathway. - Visualize Your Reward.
Close your eyes and picture yourself at your goal — maybe wearing your favorite outfit, walking pain-free, or feeling light in your body.
That visualization gives you the same dopamine hit — without the sugar. - Celebrate the Wins.
Every time you make a better choice, say to yourself, “This is my new pleasure.”
The brain learns what you celebrate.
Examples of Real Pleasure
- The joy of fitting comfortably into clothes you love
- The calm confidence of ending emotional eating
- The freedom of walking up stairs without pain
- The peace of knowing your body feels lighter, healthier, and strong
That’s real pleasure — not the quick spike, but the lasting glow that comes from alignment.
Shift the Question
Instead of asking, “Why can’t I stop?” start asking,
“Where do I want to get my pleasure from?”
Because once you define that, your brain follows.
Final Thought
You don’t have to stop seeking pleasure — it’s human.
But you can train your dopamine centers to find joy in the things that truly serve you.
The more you practice finding pleasure in energy, freedom, confidence, and peace, the less power that sugary chai will have over you.
So next time you crave comfort, pause and ask —
“What kind of pleasure do I want today — temporary or transformational?”
Because at Kapaso Life, it’s always about small shifts that create big results.
Learn more about personalized coaching , schedule a complimentary consultation today.
